Eien

29th: Eien means forever in japanese. Just to get that tidbit of lore out of the way. I wanted a space on the internet that wasn't really tied to the rest of my digital/personal datasphere, so here I am. My plan going forward is to write a whole month's journal and then post it, but I've started here at the end of the month and know I will have no time tomorrow, so I'm putting up this entry now so people not what to expect from me going forward(not much, a monthly update, essentially).

I got tired of the feeling that people I know might be reading my writing. And not saying anything. Or that it might all get dredged up years later and used against me somehow. So I'm here now, with no real ties back to my own identity that are 'public facing'. I realize that is of course an internal issue of mine, and it is likely that no one is watching, you know? That aside, what can you expect to find here when I do post at the end of December? Well, probably something about taoism, or alan watts, or meditation. I dunno. On my reading list currently is: Schopenhauer(yes all of his works), Alan Watts(whatever I can get ahold of used via snail mail), and this fun looking book I found at the library called The Zen Of Magic Squares, Circles, and Stars.

The other reason I am here is that I am tired. Tired of feeling like I have to 'perform' for others. Yet I do like writing. I write because it is basically how I think through things. It's cheap, it keeps me busy, and it's very portable. What else can be asked of a hobby?

I don't like the idea of riches or fame. I've personally watched wealth destroy people, and know enough about shitty things on youtube to know to steer well away from fame. Am I here then because I might want a small following? Well, maybe. I can't discount the idea. If I were entirely sold on writing just for my own sake, there would be no reason to even try and put it in front of others, eh?

the end for now. Until next month.